Why do Long Distance Relationships Fail?

Author: Rutayisire Patience
On:25/07/2019 16:24
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A lot of people shy away from long distance relationships because they feel it just won’t work out no matter how much effort they put in, but contrary to that belief, long distance relationships can actually be successful if the parties involved in it are aware of the pitfalls, and can strike an understanding to avoid them.

In my younger years, I had a few long distance affairs, and the reason they eventually crashed was because I wasn’t aware of the things I had to do or avoid at the time. Of course, after a couple of tries, I gave up on it too, but I also took out time to reflect on what could have gone wrong for me in those relationships, and here’s what I found. 


Long distance relationships like any other relationship require adequate communication to stay alive; when you don’t do this, it begins to die. It’s like planting a garden without watering it, what do you think will happen? Your partner needs to be constantly reassured that they mean something to you, and the only way to do that is by communicating with them as often as possible. Good news is that technology has made it possible for us to have different avenues of communication such as social media and phone calls, are all ways to stay in touch with one’s partner.


They say, “out of sight, out of mind”, so no matter how strongly you and your partner feel for each other, if you do not take out time to visit yourselves and share some together time, there’s every tendency for your relationship to crash. Calling and chatting are good, but seeing each other and being together adds something extra to your love. A lot of people do not get this, and that is why you see couples who see each other less than twice a year, and claim to be in a relationship; no sex, no kiss…nothing. That’s no relationship; I call it an acquaintance.


This has to be the biggest reason why all relationships fail, including long distance affairs. When you’re in a relationship with a person you do not trust, no matter what they do, you’ll have doubts, and these doubts are what cause the relationship to crash. My first real relationship was a long distance affair; we were deeply in love, but because we were both apart and saw only during semester breaks, trust issues began to creep in. She felt I wasn’t being true enough to her, and that I was cheating, and eventually, everything ended. So your love can be stronger than Romeo and Juliet’s, but if you do not build that trust, it will never work out.


Mental immaturity makes people gullible; it is the reason a lot of people would rather follow their friends’ advice than their own hearts; this contributes to the failure of long distance relationships. Some people do not yet understand the way relationships work, they don’t realize how much sacrifices and efforts they’re required to put in to have a successful relationship; when these sort of people get involved with someone, they find it difficult to handle the relationship.


Rutayisire Patience


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